Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Reflections
I have been home for over a month and a half now. I have settled, readjusted, and even made major decisions that will move my life forward, but it is hard to break orbit from Japan. I've found myself musing about my year in Japan; sometimes it hits me hard and sometimes it is very subtle, but I find that the memories of the people with whom I connected and the places that I came to love and claim as my own are a bit painful to look upon. I suppose that is a good thing, though. It shows that I left something very real behind. Highway 118, which ran from my town of Daigo all the way to Mito, the capital of Ibaraki, is still imprinted into my mind like I was driving it yesterday. I can close my eyes and picture almost every inch of that hour plus drive. Joanna and Blake's apartments still seem like my homes away from home. If I walked out to my driveway, there should be a tiny black little excuse for a car with a motorcycle sized engine in it.. but it has ALL my stuff in there, including an aerobie for me and Blake to toss around, dodging traffic and trying not to overthrow it into the rice field across the street. Kairakuen is cool and windy, but full of life and fragrance and color, and the people I care about most are walking through it with me. Blake and I haven't slept for over a day and we don't know where we are going to sleep, like many other weekends, but we crash somewhere and make it home before work Monday morning.. always with new stories to tell and memories to keep because we did it together. Fukuroda Falls is roaring and foaming in my memory and I can feel the spray on my face, and there is always a new group seeing it with me. I am the local. I know the ropes. I can show you around. Oarai's sun beach is burning my feet as I run out to the edge of her white sands... but then her giant concrete boulders with four legs are breaking the waves that cool my feet and teach me to surf for the first time. I feel like I should be going back in a week or two with Blake and Joanna, Richard, Jesus, Steven, Elena, and the other ALT's from Mito and Omiya and Hitachi for summer barbeque on the beach and fireworks at night. I have a secret parking spot under the overpass of the highway at Oarai beach. Its one of those places that only the surfers know.. the locals.. the people who belong there. Part of me belongs to Ibaraki, and it always will. Writing this now, I almost wish I was back there now, and not just to visit.
But I'm here, and this is 'home' for now. Ironic, that the city in which I grew up could ever feel less like home than a prefecture of Japan. I may go back some day. I hope I do, and soon. Soon before the memories fade and I can't find my favorite noodle shops and secret turns for the best shortcuts through Mito, or the highway that leads to Oarai beach. But even if I went back now, the turns that lead to the homes of almost all my favorite people would already lead to someone else's apartment. Blake and Joanna are in Texas and California now, and I'm in Georgia. Someone else is living in my apartment, so in a very real way, I guess I don't belong there anymore. Japan has released her claim on me, and I on her. But I hope she remembers me the way I remember her.. with pleasure at the memories and regret that they must remain only that for now. That's what reunions are for.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
One down, three to go
Its Monday morning.. my last Monday morning, and first period is over. I just finished my next to last class with my first year junior high students (7th grade equivalent). As I was standing at the front of the room, the bell having just rung, waiting to say the goodbye ritual with the kids, I realized that I felt funny, that my eyes were beginning to water and that there was a lump in the back of my throat. I guess sometimes your body registers the loss before all of your mind does. I will miss those kids dearly. I definitely gave them a part of myself.
Goodbyes just seem to keep rolling on a 24 hour basis. This weekend I said goodbye to Allie, my friend in Mito, and the congregation of Mito Church of Christ, where I have been attending Sunday morning and Wednsesday evening services. Pastor Yuki made a point of telling everyone, in Japanese, that I lived in DAIGO which was AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY and that I came to the Sunday AND Wednesday services. I giggled a little bit, recalling the days of driving 4 hours down to Chiba just to go to church and to find some Christian fellowship. You do what you gotta do to stay in the fellowship. (Mind you, that didn't make it sting any less when I forked over the equivalent of $500 to the car company because I had driven 20,000k this year, which was 5,000 over my lease agreement.) I wasn't too jazzed about the other $500 I had to pay for scraping my car on the curbside. They have wierd curbs here, and I blame Japan.
Oh well, if money makes you evil then I guess the leasing and insurance company really care about my holiness.
So, three more classes, a goodbye meeting with my uber-bosses at the Board of Education, a goobye grill-out with the Hitachi-omiya guys and Joanna, and then a Friday where I move out before midday and then soak up the last drops of Daigo before launching Saturday for Narita airport and then HOME!!!
For those of you who are curious about my arrival and itenerary for Operation America, I arrive in Tampa on the 22nd, Saturday. My folks and I will go to the sunrise service at First Pres. in Lakeland and then drive to N. Georgia to spend the week with my grandmother and little brother. Then, Daniel will pick me up from Athens on either Saturday or Sunday, and I'll play it by ear from there once I get to Augusta. I'll be living downtown with Joe DiRenzo and Steven Cordaro, and working at the Augusta Country Club as a swim coach.
So that's the news from Lake Watanabe, where the women do the manual labor, the men tweeze their eyebrows to be macho, and the children have nervous breakdowns from the stress.
This is your host, Suich Sensei, saying "Kyoutsukete!" and "Ganbate!"
(Take care, and Give it your best!)
Goodbyes just seem to keep rolling on a 24 hour basis. This weekend I said goodbye to Allie, my friend in Mito, and the congregation of Mito Church of Christ, where I have been attending Sunday morning and Wednsesday evening services. Pastor Yuki made a point of telling everyone, in Japanese, that I lived in DAIGO which was AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY and that I came to the Sunday AND Wednesday services. I giggled a little bit, recalling the days of driving 4 hours down to Chiba just to go to church and to find some Christian fellowship. You do what you gotta do to stay in the fellowship. (Mind you, that didn't make it sting any less when I forked over the equivalent of $500 to the car company because I had driven 20,000k this year, which was 5,000 over my lease agreement.) I wasn't too jazzed about the other $500 I had to pay for scraping my car on the curbside. They have wierd curbs here, and I blame Japan.
Oh well, if money makes you evil then I guess the leasing and insurance company really care about my holiness.
So, three more classes, a goodbye meeting with my uber-bosses at the Board of Education, a goobye grill-out with the Hitachi-omiya guys and Joanna, and then a Friday where I move out before midday and then soak up the last drops of Daigo before launching Saturday for Narita airport and then HOME!!!
For those of you who are curious about my arrival and itenerary for Operation America, I arrive in Tampa on the 22nd, Saturday. My folks and I will go to the sunrise service at First Pres. in Lakeland and then drive to N. Georgia to spend the week with my grandmother and little brother. Then, Daniel will pick me up from Athens on either Saturday or Sunday, and I'll play it by ear from there once I get to Augusta. I'll be living downtown with Joe DiRenzo and Steven Cordaro, and working at the Augusta Country Club as a swim coach.
So that's the news from Lake Watanabe, where the women do the manual labor, the men tweeze their eyebrows to be macho, and the children have nervous breakdowns from the stress.
This is your host, Suich Sensei, saying "Kyoutsukete!" and "Ganbate!"
(Take care, and Give it your best!)
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Plum Blossoms
For you avid, faithful readers, I'm sure this post title will evoke memories of my previous post wherein I attempted to put my thoughts on the Japanese affection for 'Sakura' to verse. Here, in the Land of the Rising Red Sun, the blossoming of the Sakura (Cherry) and Ume (plum) trees are visited with religious fervor. Right now, the Ume blossoms have JUST begun to hit their sweet spot. Kairakuen park in Mito is the third largest park in Japan, and I am blessed with living less than a couple of hours away from it. There are over 3000 ume (plum) trees in the park, and the ume groves are latticed with fine white pebbled paths, through which one can meander. The fragrance is gorgeous.. rich and heavy for a fruit, with bright and sweet overtones. You normally have to get your nose kind of close to really absorb all the layers of scent, but when a strong breeze comes by the whole smell fills your nose and lungs. Fortunately we visited on a sunny and breezy day, so it wasn't too cold, and we had occasional gusts of wind to give us that wonderful, surprising burst of plum blossom scent.
Quite possibly the best part of this experience (and at the least, the most powerful multiplier of the awesomeness of the day) was the sharing of it with my good friends Blake, Joanna, and Alison. We spent a great deal of the weekend together and even topped it off by doing a photo shoot together in one of those group photo booths at the mall. I have my copies of the 3cm tall pics in my wallet now, and don't plan on taking them out any time soon. It was a very memorable weekend for many reasons. As my time draws shorter, I find myself taking more pleasure and pain from my time with Blake and others here. More frequently, whenever I look at Blake or someone I have come to care about while in Japan, I am taken by the question, "How many more times will I see this person?" It is very difficult to not begin to dread the loss of things and persons we care for in tiny preemptive incriments. But, as Allie said to me this Sunday, "You can't start worrying about that now before its even a problem. That's just silly. You'll only let it keep you from enjoying being where you are... here and now." A good re-wording of Jesus' encouragement on the mount:
""Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:25-27, NIV)
Kairakuen Park ends on one side in a small cliff that looks out over a flat valley below. As you look out, you see another, smaller grove of ume trees, deep pink and white, and finely cropped fields of grass with forests beyond. As I was looking out over this I thought, "This is the Japan that I imaginied." A snapshot of beauty. Well-groomed fields and blossoming trees seen from atop small mountains. Its true. All of the picturesque things that you imagine about Japan really do exist. There are, actually, places and views on this island that you would think you couldn't see without computer generated imaging or a lot of photoshopping. It is impossibly beautiful at times.. but that's just it, its only at times that you get to see these beautiful sights. For the most part, you have to live your life at work, at your apartment, or travelling in between. You have to set aside time and seek out these special places because they are, in fact, special... and especially rare if you are averagely busy, which is a shame. I will say, the Japanese do take time to travel, and for that I respect them. Granted, they do it largely within Japan because the general native perception is that Japan is big and beautiful enough to keep you occupied. I'm partial to America and the rest of the world myself, but then, I'm in Japan as I type this, so I can't blame them. Why do we leave home? What's worth striking out for, seeking, and beholding? Do we leave home because we are dissatisfied.. to find something new, or satisfied... only to return and see it anew?
I'm still quite young, so I learn a dozen lessons a year that many of you have known for decades. I wonder if the learning curve ever really slopes back down? (Right now, m equals about .9 something.) I'll let you know if I find out. m won't equal undefined until we know even as we are known, and even then, I don't think undefined means unreal. Just, as of yet, undefined.
Quite possibly the best part of this experience (and at the least, the most powerful multiplier of the awesomeness of the day) was the sharing of it with my good friends Blake, Joanna, and Alison. We spent a great deal of the weekend together and even topped it off by doing a photo shoot together in one of those group photo booths at the mall. I have my copies of the 3cm tall pics in my wallet now, and don't plan on taking them out any time soon. It was a very memorable weekend for many reasons. As my time draws shorter, I find myself taking more pleasure and pain from my time with Blake and others here. More frequently, whenever I look at Blake or someone I have come to care about while in Japan, I am taken by the question, "How many more times will I see this person?" It is very difficult to not begin to dread the loss of things and persons we care for in tiny preemptive incriments. But, as Allie said to me this Sunday, "You can't start worrying about that now before its even a problem. That's just silly. You'll only let it keep you from enjoying being where you are... here and now." A good re-wording of Jesus' encouragement on the mount:
""Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:25-27, NIV)
Kairakuen Park ends on one side in a small cliff that looks out over a flat valley below. As you look out, you see another, smaller grove of ume trees, deep pink and white, and finely cropped fields of grass with forests beyond. As I was looking out over this I thought, "This is the Japan that I imaginied." A snapshot of beauty. Well-groomed fields and blossoming trees seen from atop small mountains. Its true. All of the picturesque things that you imagine about Japan really do exist. There are, actually, places and views on this island that you would think you couldn't see without computer generated imaging or a lot of photoshopping. It is impossibly beautiful at times.. but that's just it, its only at times that you get to see these beautiful sights. For the most part, you have to live your life at work, at your apartment, or travelling in between. You have to set aside time and seek out these special places because they are, in fact, special... and especially rare if you are averagely busy, which is a shame. I will say, the Japanese do take time to travel, and for that I respect them. Granted, they do it largely within Japan because the general native perception is that Japan is big and beautiful enough to keep you occupied. I'm partial to America and the rest of the world myself, but then, I'm in Japan as I type this, so I can't blame them. Why do we leave home? What's worth striking out for, seeking, and beholding? Do we leave home because we are dissatisfied.. to find something new, or satisfied... only to return and see it anew?
I'm still quite young, so I learn a dozen lessons a year that many of you have known for decades. I wonder if the learning curve ever really slopes back down? (Right now, m equals about .9 something.) I'll let you know if I find out. m won't equal undefined until we know even as we are known, and even then, I don't think undefined means unreal. Just, as of yet, undefined.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Antepenultimate Omega Post
Greetings all,
This is the next to next to last post I will be posting. (Fun times with doubling up on the repetition.) I thought I would give a small diagnostic in view of my immanent return to the states.
I came to Japan thristy for wisdom and understanding of myself and my destiny. It occurs to me that Wisdom is the juice of Perspective, plucked from the tree of Hindsight, grown in the muck of experience. I've accumulated a lot of muck so far, so that's a good thing.
Many people have asked me if I'm excited to come home, sad to leave Japan, or scrambling to get out of here. In answer, I'm extremely glad I came and grateful for the work the Lord has done in my life while here, but it was a season, and I'm glad that its coming to its "telos" as Paul says. I have made one really good friend, Blake, who lives in Texas, and I'll be keeping up with him for sure, but for the most part, this has been a very dry time for me relationally. I've hit bottom and crawled from the valley. Good but costly, emotionally speaking. As you can imagine, not having English in common with 99% of your world does take its toll on you. (Especially a raging extrovert like me who has never met a stranger in his life... only met friends I don't know so well yet.)
How soon do I return? I fly out of Japan on March 22nd, and I'll be moving back to Augusta almost immediately. I have a job lined up as a swim coach, which will be a sallaried job for the summer. Pretty sweet set up, jobwise. I'll be near my best friends Daniel and Chad, and back at my home church FPC Augusta. All in all, I'd rather be there than travelling around Japan with a pocket-full of cash.
After living here for a year I've discovered that every place on earth has some amount of natural beauty, local flavor, and peculiar people, and those are the things that make a particular place worth visiting... but its only where you are loved and where people let you love them that you have a home. Relationships make a place worth putting roots down. I miss my friends and being able to speak to strangers... sorry, immanent friends... and I think I might even be almost ready to move towards a serious relationship... just a decade or so and I'll be ready. (I figure it will take that long to find a girl who's crazy enough.)
So, that's the news from Lake Watanabe where the women do the manual labor, the men tweeze their eyebrows, and the children have nervous breakdowns from stress.
So, that's the news from Lake Watanabe where the women do the manual labor, the men tweeze their eyebrows, and the children have nervous breakdowns from stress.
I've posted pictures and movies on Facebook and Youtube. If you're unclear as to how you can access either of those sites, just let me know. I'll walk you through how to sign up for Facecrack... I mean Facebook.
From Japan with love,
Josh <{><
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sudan's Productions
Blake, Richard Stephens and I have started a film group called Sudan's Prodctions, and have posted our first two pieces on Youtube. There's more to come, so stay posted. We're working on something with a car chase!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Setsubun 節分 (せつぶん)
If you're Japanese, the holiday season comes with an added bonus: you get to celebrate TWO New Years! One with the rest of the Western world on January 1st, and, just over a month later, a slightly more Oriental one on February 3rd. Setsubun, or more formally known as Risshun (立春) comes from the Chinese New Year tradition. Since this is the beginning of something new, its important to the Japanese to purge the evil from the old year. All of the talismans that have been absorbing bad energy from the home from the previous 12 months are brought to the Shinto temple to be burned. Out with the old and in with the new, they then place a fresh talisman in the home for the year to come. I made the SEVERE faux pas of asking the burner for one of the arrow talismans, not knowing what it was. He got this horrified and confused look on his face and just stared at the ground, frozen, trying to figure out how to deal with this gaijin who had asked asked for the unthinkable. I felt bad for him right away, even before I knew the extent of my blunder, and told him, its ok, I don't want it. Fortunately Sue jumped in and explained to me what it was, that I was attempting to prevent some poor family from getting rid of an entire year of spiritual negativity, and that that might be perceived as kind of jerky. After he saw that she had explained the situation, the guy looked like he had just been told that his wife had survived a quadruple bypass and that he won $1000. Crisis averted.
Now, for the good part. Not only can you get rid of your bad luck from the previous year at Setsubun, you've also got a shot at getting some good luck for the new year. The priests come out three times that day and shoot arrows with soft tips into the crowds of people. If you catch one of them, you've won yourself an uber-talisman of good luck. Now, keep in mind, you've gotta fight for this. People were going DOWN in the mud. Women, men, children, everyone got hip-checked, decked, punched, overrun, collided, elbowed, juked, bumped, and shoved out of the way.. all for the sake of one of these babies. So. Who caught the very first one, you might ask? ME!!! Did I get to keep it? NO!!! I just stood there, thinking "You know, I don't really want to take somebody else's good luck. Plus, I've got Jesus. I'm good." But then, the priest aimed it in exactly my direction, which I could see.. being lined up exactly with his bow. Then, I saw that he was pulling back pretty far, and I had stood in the back of the crowd, wanting to give these tiny Asians a chance. I say this to tell you that it was through no machination that it just came right at me. I literally stood there with my feet planted in the same place and just stuck my hand up and caught it. Then, this guy leaps up and grabs a hold of it too (after I had already caught it) and starts trying to yank it out of my hand. Of course, I have a grip on it, and it doesn't come loose. So he looks up at me like, "What the hell do you think you're doing, butt head?! You're not supposed to be able to have this. What do you think you're doing?... crud, how am I gonna get this thing from him?" Smelling copious amounts of alcohol on his breath and not wanting to make a scene, I tried to diffuse the situation quickly. How do we do this in Japan? Easy. Junken. (Junken is their name for Rock, Paper, Scissors.) Of course, I lost. I should have said, "Dude, I caught it first, back the smack off.", but, being the nice guy that I am, I gypped myself out of the ultimate souvenir. Oh well. Se la vie, se la guerre. At least I have my Mt. Fuji stick, and I WORKED for that one.
My good buddy Blake, on the other hand, had the right idea. Allow me to set the stage. By the time the next to last arrow was being fired, everyone was whipped up because they had been going for three or four rounds, and desperate because this was probably their last chance at good luck for the coming year. Naturally, when the last arrows were fired, the jockeying was at its best. It got to the point where at least 10 people were in a 4 square meter area.. but sometimes, 20 hands aren't enough. One of them slipped through a crowd of about 15 people and landed on the ground next to me and Blake. By the time I had looked at it, Blake.. who had been standing there quietly with his hands in his pockets.. had ducked down and nabbed it-- the uncontested owner of his very own Lucky Arrow. I think I was happier for him than if I had gotten to keep my own. The look of crushed disappointment on the faces of the 15 people who had dog piled for it, only to lose it to the opportunist gaijin (foreigner), was a beautiful sight. There was a very distinct "aaaaaah" of despair from the prizeless masses. Maybe I'm a bad person, but I think you'll agree that its a beautiful thing to see the meek inherit the earth... especially in the face of the violent and desperate. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!
So that was Setsubun. I had a great time at the festival, plus, I got to have tayaki later. That's a fish shaped, cream-filled pastry, which is, as the Japanese say, segoi oishii, very delicious. I had two. I'll miss them when I come home. ...I think they might have opiates in them...
All the way from Japan, here's hoping you a very lucky New Year, and more importantly, a very Blessed one.
May His face shine upon you--
Now, for the good part. Not only can you get rid of your bad luck from the previous year at Setsubun, you've also got a shot at getting some good luck for the new year. The priests come out three times that day and shoot arrows with soft tips into the crowds of people. If you catch one of them, you've won yourself an uber-talisman of good luck. Now, keep in mind, you've gotta fight for this. People were going DOWN in the mud. Women, men, children, everyone got hip-checked, decked, punched, overrun, collided, elbowed, juked, bumped, and shoved out of the way.. all for the sake of one of these babies. So. Who caught the very first one, you might ask? ME!!! Did I get to keep it? NO!!! I just stood there, thinking "You know, I don't really want to take somebody else's good luck. Plus, I've got Jesus. I'm good." But then, the priest aimed it in exactly my direction, which I could see.. being lined up exactly with his bow. Then, I saw that he was pulling back pretty far, and I had stood in the back of the crowd, wanting to give these tiny Asians a chance. I say this to tell you that it was through no machination that it just came right at me. I literally stood there with my feet planted in the same place and just stuck my hand up and caught it. Then, this guy leaps up and grabs a hold of it too (after I had already caught it) and starts trying to yank it out of my hand. Of course, I have a grip on it, and it doesn't come loose. So he looks up at me like, "What the hell do you think you're doing, butt head?! You're not supposed to be able to have this. What do you think you're doing?... crud, how am I gonna get this thing from him?" Smelling copious amounts of alcohol on his breath and not wanting to make a scene, I tried to diffuse the situation quickly. How do we do this in Japan? Easy. Junken. (Junken is their name for Rock, Paper, Scissors.) Of course, I lost. I should have said, "Dude, I caught it first, back the smack off.", but, being the nice guy that I am, I gypped myself out of the ultimate souvenir. Oh well. Se la vie, se la guerre. At least I have my Mt. Fuji stick, and I WORKED for that one.
My good buddy Blake, on the other hand, had the right idea. Allow me to set the stage. By the time the next to last arrow was being fired, everyone was whipped up because they had been going for three or four rounds, and desperate because this was probably their last chance at good luck for the coming year. Naturally, when the last arrows were fired, the jockeying was at its best. It got to the point where at least 10 people were in a 4 square meter area.. but sometimes, 20 hands aren't enough. One of them slipped through a crowd of about 15 people and landed on the ground next to me and Blake. By the time I had looked at it, Blake.. who had been standing there quietly with his hands in his pockets.. had ducked down and nabbed it-- the uncontested owner of his very own Lucky Arrow. I think I was happier for him than if I had gotten to keep my own. The look of crushed disappointment on the faces of the 15 people who had dog piled for it, only to lose it to the opportunist gaijin (foreigner), was a beautiful sight. There was a very distinct "aaaaaah" of despair from the prizeless masses. Maybe I'm a bad person, but I think you'll agree that its a beautiful thing to see the meek inherit the earth... especially in the face of the violent and desperate. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!
So that was Setsubun. I had a great time at the festival, plus, I got to have tayaki later. That's a fish shaped, cream-filled pastry, which is, as the Japanese say, segoi oishii, very delicious. I had two. I'll miss them when I come home. ...I think they might have opiates in them...
All the way from Japan, here's hoping you a very lucky New Year, and more importantly, a very Blessed one.
May His face shine upon you--
Monday, January 28, 2008
The Home Stretch
Well, I have pounded out a budget and figured out that I can come home with at least a few pennies to rub together, provided I don't spend any more discretionary money before leaving. As such, I slapped some peanut-butter and gnutella on some white breat, buttered up the sandwich toaster and made myself a molten peanut-butter-and-chocolate fried sandwich with a quarter gallon of milk for dinner last night. Aren't I so good? (If you didn't spend money on those groceries less than 24 hours ago its free, right? I'm pretty sure it is.)
Of course the real saga in the Budgetary Battle-arena is the issue of heat. I have been freezing my nose off every night for the last few weeks. Lately a 30 mph wind has been sucking the heat off my building at night and slipping its nefarious kineti-klepto tentrils under the door and into my bedroom. I got a bill for over $100 for last month's gas expenses. Let me just say, I nixed the option of running the heater unit on the wall after that. I'd rather have a frost-bit shnoz than an empty bank account. The fact that I shaved my head bald didn't help much either. I did it to save $10 on a haircut, but now I HAVE to wear a knit cap all the time.. and I mean ALL the time except for in the shower.. to keep from freezing. I never realized how much heat the body loses through the scalp until I had nothing stopping it.
In an effort to pinch pennies, I have been forcing myself to be less extroverted and more nerdy. Social stuff costs money. Its the harsh reality of living in a remote land. Thank goodness I have a laptop! I have discovered Miniclip.com which hosts thousands of games-- my favorite of which is Bloxors. You roll a stone around and try to fit it into the hole. Much harder than it sounds... MUCH. I got to the last three levels and resorted to cheating. You know how it goes, "Oh, I'm just gonna use the cheat for THIS one. I'll beat the next two on my own. Really, I will." Yeah, right. Baloney. You cheat once, and Pandora's Box is open full-throttle, baby. At least, I don't have a prayer at using cheats in moderation.
Using Skype has also been a great tactic, since its free from computer to computer, and I get to have at least the resemblance of fellowship with some of the people I love. If you've got skype, feel free to add me. Its a free program you can put on your computer. All you need is an internet connection, speakers, and a microphone and it acts like a telephone.
I'm relearning the Hebrew alphabet and listening to podcasts of Isaiah lectures in preparation for Seminary. Its exciting but scary. I hate talking about it to folks in general because I've changed my trajectory so many times in the past. Every time it "feels" like A is perfect because of x, y, and z... but then the bubble seems to burst. Seminary has been on the back-burner since I was 16, though, and has always been that thing that I would do in a perfect world, but was always too afraid to do. I'm still afraid, but now I'm just willing.
Whatever it is He's beckoning you to, I hope you're willing, as well.
From the frozen mountains of rural Japan, this is Joshua Suich signing off, wishing you a warm bed and a full head of hair.
Sayonara
Of course the real saga in the Budgetary Battle-arena is the issue of heat. I have been freezing my nose off every night for the last few weeks. Lately a 30 mph wind has been sucking the heat off my building at night and slipping its nefarious kineti-klepto tentrils under the door and into my bedroom. I got a bill for over $100 for last month's gas expenses. Let me just say, I nixed the option of running the heater unit on the wall after that. I'd rather have a frost-bit shnoz than an empty bank account. The fact that I shaved my head bald didn't help much either. I did it to save $10 on a haircut, but now I HAVE to wear a knit cap all the time.. and I mean ALL the time except for in the shower.. to keep from freezing. I never realized how much heat the body loses through the scalp until I had nothing stopping it.
In an effort to pinch pennies, I have been forcing myself to be less extroverted and more nerdy. Social stuff costs money. Its the harsh reality of living in a remote land. Thank goodness I have a laptop! I have discovered Miniclip.com which hosts thousands of games-- my favorite of which is Bloxors. You roll a stone around and try to fit it into the hole. Much harder than it sounds... MUCH. I got to the last three levels and resorted to cheating. You know how it goes, "Oh, I'm just gonna use the cheat for THIS one. I'll beat the next two on my own. Really, I will." Yeah, right. Baloney. You cheat once, and Pandora's Box is open full-throttle, baby. At least, I don't have a prayer at using cheats in moderation.
Using Skype has also been a great tactic, since its free from computer to computer, and I get to have at least the resemblance of fellowship with some of the people I love. If you've got skype, feel free to add me
I'm relearning the Hebrew alphabet and listening to podcasts of Isaiah lectures in preparation for Seminary. Its exciting but scary. I hate talking about it to folks in general because I've changed my trajectory so many times in the past. Every time it "feels" like A is perfect because of x, y, and z... but then the bubble seems to burst. Seminary has been on the back-burner since I was 16, though, and has always been that thing that I would do in a perfect world, but was always too afraid to do. I'm still afraid, but now I'm just willing.
Whatever it is He's beckoning you to, I hope you're willing, as well.
From the frozen mountains of rural Japan, this is Joshua Suich signing off, wishing you a warm bed and a full head of hair.
Sayonara
Thursday, January 17, 2008
My future, after Japan
Over the course of this past week, I came to the realization that God has been leading me to the Ministry since I was young. It is entirely possible that I have the gifting for it, and I know I have the willingness. So, I'm applying to Gordon Conwell. This is what I wrote on the application form today when they asked me about my testimony.
Both of my parents came to Christ during their adolescence. My mother's mother was the first person in her extended family to receive the Gospel, and my father struggled to bring his father, an atheist, to Christ until he was taken by cancer. As such, they valued Christ greatly and always sought to make Him known to me through their example of Christian marriage, parenthood, and participation in the local church.
When I was three, my mother miscarried the child between myself and my little brother. I was, of course, so young that I barely have any recollection of this event, but I have been told that when my father explained to me what had happened, I asked him something to the effect of, "But what about Jesus? What is He doing about this? Why didn't He stop it?" I believed in the person and sovereignty of God in as real and concrete a way as I would believe in any other person from my earliest time of rational thought. A few years later, when I was six years old, one of my Sunday School teachers, Miss Martha, explained the concept of sin to us. I know it sounds a bit far-fetched, but even from that age, I knew what it was to be not just bad, but deeply sinful. I had a little brother. No one can be ignorant of their depravity with a sibling to arouse your selfishness nature. I had been angry with him, stolen from him, and probably even abused him in some way even though he was the greatest source of joy in my life. (He always has been since I knew I was going to be a big brother.)
Having seen the consequences of my sin in my relationship with him and my parents, I understood why God needed to forgive me. I had done bad things, I was a bad person, and I had a guilty conscience. So, when she told us that God wanted to forgive us of that sin, that Jesus had paid for it already, and that He wanted to live in our hearts, I accepted it gladly. I still remember the room, the little chairs, the felt cut-outs of Bible characters on the green board, and my folded hands. I truly believe that God took me from being a mere covenant-child to a Believer, indwelt by His Spirit, from that day.
For the next 12 years I was educated in a Christian Elementary, Junior, and High school and was educated in the scriptures and in my Presbyterian tradition. I will never be sufficiently grateful to my home church, First Presbyterian of Augusta, GA, where I learned to love and revere the scriptures as the living word of God.
Having been raised in just one church my entire life, I decided to attend churches of various denominations during my college years, so as to see and know the Bride of Christ more fully. Most of the descriptions I had received about other Christian doctrines and methods had been derogatory, since they were criticisms of the ways of another tradition. (Sadly, we Christians are not always generous to those with whom we disagree.) I had a hard time believing that they were all bad, though, since presumably they loved the Lord as I did. During my time worshiping, studying, and serving alongside Catholics, Orthodox, Charismatics, Baptists, non-denominationals, and those who slipped even further through the cracks of Christian labels, I realized that every faith had a love for Christ and a particular focus. Wherever that focus lay, they were stronger there than any other denomination I knew. But, it also created a blind spot because they were focused on something other than Christ Himself. Christ used this time to warn me that it was only my love for Him that should guide my doctrine, my liturgy, my study, and my service. I believe He was counseling me to be guided by nothing at all other than Him or it would easily become an idol to me.
I have struggled to find God's purpose for me all my life.
Ever since I was a teenager, it seems that I have fallen effortlessly into positions of ministry and service in camps, youth programs, Sunday schools, educational institutions, pulpits, and random sidewalks. Everywhere I go, I find myself doing something for other people or working with youth or encouraging a fellow believer. Being a raging extrovert who likes people and doesn't mind doing anything for them, its easy, even natural. And yet, for all that, I have struggled with the concept of "discerning the will of God." Somehow I have built up the concept of a "call" as something mystical that only the soul sufficiently tortured with unrequited request for insight can receive. Recently, though, my Father has been showing me that He not only can use someone as broken as me and can call someone like me, but He is already using me and calling me forward. I wish to go to seminary simply to be better equipped to follow Him more deftly.
This is a blog so its all about posting and getting responses. You guys know me, so I would greatly value your input on the matter. For better or worse.
Christ Keep You All
Both of my parents came to Christ during their adolescence. My mother's mother was the first person in her extended family to receive the Gospel, and my father struggled to bring his father, an atheist, to Christ until he was taken by cancer. As such, they valued Christ greatly and always sought to make Him known to me through their example of Christian marriage, parenthood, and participation in the local church.
When I was three, my mother miscarried the child between myself and my little brother. I was, of course, so young that I barely have any recollection of this event, but I have been told that when my father explained to me what had happened, I asked him something to the effect of, "But what about Jesus? What is He doing about this? Why didn't He stop it?" I believed in the person and sovereignty of God in as real and concrete a way as I would believe in any other person from my earliest time of rational thought. A few years later, when I was six years old, one of my Sunday School teachers, Miss Martha, explained the concept of sin to us. I know it sounds a bit far-fetched, but even from that age, I knew what it was to be not just bad, but deeply sinful. I had a little brother. No one can be ignorant of their depravity with a sibling to arouse your selfishness nature. I had been angry with him, stolen from him, and probably even abused him in some way even though he was the greatest source of joy in my life. (He always has been since I knew I was going to be a big brother.)
Having seen the consequences of my sin in my relationship with him and my parents, I understood why God needed to forgive me. I had done bad things, I was a bad person, and I had a guilty conscience. So, when she told us that God wanted to forgive us of that sin, that Jesus had paid for it already, and that He wanted to live in our hearts, I accepted it gladly. I still remember the room, the little chairs, the felt cut-outs of Bible characters on the green board, and my folded hands. I truly believe that God took me from being a mere covenant-child to a Believer, indwelt by His Spirit, from that day.
For the next 12 years I was educated in a Christian Elementary, Junior, and High school and was educated in the scriptures and in my Presbyterian tradition. I will never be sufficiently grateful to my home church, First Presbyterian of Augusta, GA, where I learned to love and revere the scriptures as the living word of God.
Having been raised in just one church my entire life, I decided to attend churches of various denominations during my college years, so as to see and know the Bride of Christ more fully. Most of the descriptions I had received about other Christian doctrines and methods had been derogatory, since they were criticisms of the ways of another tradition. (Sadly, we Christians are not always generous to those with whom we disagree.) I had a hard time believing that they were all bad, though, since presumably they loved the Lord as I did. During my time worshiping, studying, and serving alongside Catholics, Orthodox, Charismatics, Baptists, non-denominationals, and those who slipped even further through the cracks of Christian labels, I realized that every faith had a love for Christ and a particular focus. Wherever that focus lay, they were stronger there than any other denomination I knew. But, it also created a blind spot because they were focused on something other than Christ Himself. Christ used this time to warn me that it was only my love for Him that should guide my doctrine, my liturgy, my study, and my service. I believe He was counseling me to be guided by nothing at all other than Him or it would easily become an idol to me.
I have struggled to find God's purpose for me all my life.
Ever since I was a teenager, it seems that I have fallen effortlessly into positions of ministry and service in camps, youth programs, Sunday schools, educational institutions, pulpits, and random sidewalks. Everywhere I go, I find myself doing something for other people or working with youth or encouraging a fellow believer. Being a raging extrovert who likes people and doesn't mind doing anything for them, its easy, even natural. And yet, for all that, I have struggled with the concept of "discerning the will of God." Somehow I have built up the concept of a "call" as something mystical that only the soul sufficiently tortured with unrequited request for insight can receive. Recently, though, my Father has been showing me that He not only can use someone as broken as me and can call someone like me, but He is already using me and calling me forward. I wish to go to seminary simply to be better equipped to follow Him more deftly.
This is a blog so its all about posting and getting responses. You guys know me, so I would greatly value your input on the matter. For better or worse.
Christ Keep You All
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Final Exam
This test will be comprised of
4 parts
And will require you to respond
On several subjects.
Please respond honestly
and thoroughly.
Is language more than words?
What makes man unique?
Are we.. unique?
Do you have a soul, yes YOU?
Why do we fight wars?
Can one man make a difference?
If yes, please explain.
Please use whole concepts.
Please do not summarize.
Please give original opinions.
Does education improve a man?
Can virtue be taught?
What is wrong with the world?
Is the answer to the previous question,
"I am."?
Again, please use whole concepts.
If its so easy to fall in love,
How do we calcitrate our hearts
to resist it?
What is a defense mechanism?
Where do babies come from.. really?
Is an angel reading this over your
shoulder, right.. now?
Is there a God?
What does He think of sex?
What do you think of it?
Do you think those two views differ?
Multiple Choice:
If you were to drop dead after
Reading this sentence,
And you appeared before God
the next moment,
Would you demand He account for every
Injustice in the world and
Discomfort in your life,
or...
Would the weight of His glory
Lead you to spontaneously confess
everything...
or...
Would the weight of glory
Cripple your tongue
And would Beauty Himself blind you..
And would you whimper,
"mercy"?
4 parts
And will require you to respond
On several subjects.
Please respond honestly
and thoroughly.
Is language more than words?
What makes man unique?
Are we.. unique?
Do you have a soul, yes YOU?
Why do we fight wars?
Can one man make a difference?
If yes, please explain.
Please use whole concepts.
Please do not summarize.
Please give original opinions.
Does education improve a man?
Can virtue be taught?
What is wrong with the world?
Is the answer to the previous question,
"I am."?
Again, please use whole concepts.
If its so easy to fall in love,
How do we calcitrate our hearts
to resist it?
What is a defense mechanism?
Where do babies come from.. really?
Is an angel reading this over your
shoulder, right.. now?
Is there a God?
What does He think of sex?
What do you think of it?
Do you think those two views differ?
Multiple Choice:
If you were to drop dead after
Reading this sentence,
And you appeared before God
the next moment,
Would you demand He account for every
Injustice in the world and
Discomfort in your life,
or...
Would the weight of His glory
Lead you to spontaneously confess
everything...
or...
Would the weight of glory
Cripple your tongue
And would Beauty Himself blind you..
And would you whimper,
"mercy"?
桜 (Sakura)
And so I woke up one night
In a freezing apartment,
So cold my nose felt like
A frigid piece of rubber on my face.
And that apartment was at the
foot of a mountain
With a rice field in between..
Because all available space
in Japan
Is a rice field,
Or a building,
Or a road between those two things.
And I've learned to sleep
Without the heater on
While in Japan,
Because it is the essence
of Nippon.
I still don't know, Japan,
When to call you Nippon
Or when Nihhon is proper,
But I know your essence:
gaman.
The stoic perseverance of a people,
Whose sublime transport is the
Blossom of a fruitless tree.
The winter is endurable,
Though the deathly chill
Drives man indoors and
Buds to dormancy,
Because the colder the winter,
The tighter the organic coil of
Blossoming power winds,
Releasing, once fully taught,
Billions of tiny petals
Like a slingshot--
Open in a moment
And sailing for a breath.
Japan,
Your cherry trees will stand,
Naked,
Eleven months of the year,
But they will captivate the soul
For a few brief weeks
With their show.
And when they shed their glory,
At the close this their yearly show,
Then the winter will end
With the closing snow.
Such are the host of petals
Making a final journey,
At the end of a brief appearance..
Like the breath of earth angels
Erupting into flurried clouds,
A single wind bears thousands
upon thousands
Of white flakes, flicks, flecks
Of pert pin points of
White--
Crisp yet creamy,
Delicate but violently swarming
Windborn wayfarers,
The Fruit of Winter,
From a fruitless tree.
Sakura, once I scorned your worship.
I scorn you yet as an idol,
But I applaud you as a
Worship leader.
If only you inspired eyes to look
higher,
To anticipate more than
one more spring,
But the Spring of the Spirit..
To do more than endure,
But to be clothed Eternal
in White.
--Joshua P. Suich
1/16/2008
In a freezing apartment,
So cold my nose felt like
A frigid piece of rubber on my face.
And that apartment was at the
foot of a mountain
With a rice field in between..
Because all available space
in Japan
Is a rice field,
Or a building,
Or a road between those two things.
And I've learned to sleep
Without the heater on
While in Japan,
Because it is the essence
of Nippon.
I still don't know, Japan,
When to call you Nippon
Or when Nihhon is proper,
But I know your essence:
gaman.
The stoic perseverance of a people,
Whose sublime transport is the
Blossom of a fruitless tree.
The winter is endurable,
Though the deathly chill
Drives man indoors and
Buds to dormancy,
Because the colder the winter,
The tighter the organic coil of
Blossoming power winds,
Releasing, once fully taught,
Billions of tiny petals
Like a slingshot--
Open in a moment
And sailing for a breath.
Japan,
Your cherry trees will stand,
Naked,
Eleven months of the year,
But they will captivate the soul
For a few brief weeks
With their show.
And when they shed their glory,
At the close this their yearly show,
Then the winter will end
With the closing snow.
Such are the host of petals
Making a final journey,
At the end of a brief appearance..
Like the breath of earth angels
Erupting into flurried clouds,
A single wind bears thousands
upon thousands
Of white flakes, flicks, flecks
Of pert pin points of
White--
Crisp yet creamy,
Delicate but violently swarming
Windborn wayfarers,
The Fruit of Winter,
From a fruitless tree.
Sakura, once I scorned your worship.
I scorn you yet as an idol,
But I applaud you as a
Worship leader.
If only you inspired eyes to look
higher,
To anticipate more than
one more spring,
But the Spring of the Spirit..
To do more than endure,
But to be clothed Eternal
in White.
--Joshua P. Suich
1/16/2008
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