At this point, I`m not really feelin the year two thing, to be honest. I find that the job is cush and that I don`t feel called or compelled to live here permanently, so learning Japanese has slid to the low priority pool, which, by the way, is CHOKED with the flotsam of well-intentioned pursuits.
Plus, I want to get my act together and get a degree and a wife or at least a job that pays well enough to save and then go to New Zealand or Fiji or whatever. Two rather divergent desires. An accurate dipstick of my inner status.
I`ve been doing a lot of crazy talkin` lately.
I feel like my internal monologe is a coin flipping and coming down time after time. Heads says: Having no rudder and only the execution of the here and now has been grinding on me, and I just can`t seem to get it out of my system or get myself out of this rutt. I have the feeling that I could do something great or more worthwhile or accesing of my talents, but I just don`t know what. I`m not making much of a difference in these kids lives, I make crud for pay, I`m immersed in a language I won`t use for long, there`s no Christians anywhere nearby so I blow a ton of my budget just going to church.
Tails says: Japan is cool. I`m having fun. I`m learning to discipline my life and my habits so that I live heathily and intentionally in body and spirit. God is surfacing and forcing me to address the issues of my heart. All in all, I`m glad I`m here and look forward to every day left in my time, and look forward to coming home.
Chad, this is where you get to say "I told you so," and where I point out that "I saw it coming and did it anyway" and you get to call me "crazy for doing it anyway" and I plead the fifth and say, "Yeah, but I just wouldn`t be me if I didn`t, would I?"
I need to get some soul-glue
And make one self from two.
Hangin tight with Jesus,
Josh
3 comments:
wait, don't I get to say "I told you so" too?
"'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!'"
-Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Lewis Carroll
"the low priority pool, which, by the way, is CHOKED with the flotsam of well-intentioned pursuits."
understatement of the year
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